The Cycle

So every time I start thinking about LA I go through a couple of phases. The first one is sheer excitement and 5 year old esque smiling. Then, to help calm that five year old down before causing a scene in the grocery store, I start thinking of the logistics and the ways in which to make the physicality of the move a tad bit easier. Then I start thinking about the last things I want to do in Boston before I leave which inevitably leads to me getting a little down and then I start second guessing myself. For example...

Stage 1- I'm so excited for a change!! I'm so excited to try and get back into the video production!! It will be sunny!!! there will be a beach!!!! AHHH!!!!! SO PUMPED!!!!

Stage 2- I realize at this point, as I start squirming physically, I should probably think of what kind of car I'll want to get, should I buy it in Boston and do a cross country tour before getting there? Or buy it in Cali? And of course I should do a scouting trip; head over there in February of March and check out the neighborhoods, maybe find a bar willing to hire me....which means I'm going to need to book a flight...and find a realtor! Who do I know that would have a good realtor? and do I want a studio or roommates? I'd like something similar to my apartment now...

Stage 3- I'm actually going to miss this apartment. Hrmm, and my bar regulars, and my bar. I want to go to Nahant beach at least a couple more times before I go. Especially with the old Kells crew. I'm going to have to sell my furniture before I head out there. But I really like my furniture! I found most of it on the streets of Boston. The really AWESOME streets of Boston. Boston really is kind of my home...

Step 4- Maybe I shouldn't move out there. Maybe I should just use my saved up money to travel and treat myself to a few treats. It would be easier, and I won't have to say goodbye to people. Or struggle to break into the industry, or...

BUT NO! This, my friends, is why I'm writing this blog. And if anyone reads this, y'all better help me with that. Because I AM going to go. I will not let me stop myself from doing something fun. From exploring. From doing something I've been wanting to do.  So shove it self. Let's do this shit.